Boys, boys, boys....

I swear....I don't mind hanging out with guys AT ALL, but when every guy I meet happens to turn out to like me it drives me crazy. DX

I'm one of two girls that work at the shop (the other is married), and since the majority of our customers are guys, there are never really any girls there for me to talk to...thus guys only are who I get to talk to, like I said before, I have no problem with guys, but I just get the flirting & stuff way too much I mean, couldn't I just have some "normal" friends? lol.
*sighs*

But ya, last night I found out that one of the customers was asking one of my coworkers if she could ask me if I would date him....& just a few days I got a message on myspace from some 15 yearold asking if I would go out with him....-___-''

& I'm sure within the next couple weeks I'll get more "confessions"
P:

I just hate having to turn so many down, I feel like I'm hurting their feelings....which I hate doing, but I don't want to end up in situations like I have before.

*sighs* well I'm gonna get ready to go to work.
cya'll~

Boys just seem to only cause me grief.

I know it's not "necessary" to have a boyfriend, but I do with that I had someone to really be there for me....

The boy I've loved for 4 years now...he used to have feelings for me...but I guess they have left, and now the only reason he's stayed with me is for my body. He claims he wants to make sure our relationship doesn't end up down the drain, but then he doesn't seem to act it.

Everytime a boy has EVER liked me it's ended up just because of my body, not ME. That makes me so mad....this boy KNOWS I have a soft spot for him, but he just keeps on taking advantage....I just can't be mean....especially to someone I've liked for so long. But I dunno....I just feel like ignoring him, but he lives right down the street, and is best friends with my little bro, so he's always over. He is also always at the shop I run, I don't mind all that, but it's just that I thought he was so much better then what he's turned out to be. I mean I DON'T care if he doesn't like me anymore, but instead of acting as if he LIKES me than just tell me you don't like me anymore....ya it may hurt at first but It's way better then to find out you stayed with me only for the "benefits".

I dunno....its just when I thought I found a good honest person....it turns out all wrong...I know there's more fish in the sea, Its just if I can really open myself up again to another guy....I hate getting hurt like this. Well I'm sure no one does...but still, these experinces with all the guys I've been with, or been around just hurt me more then anything. And in life I have NOONE to go to to talk to, I don't have a great relationship with my parents when it comes to talking about life, same with most of my friends...I just wish I really had someone to help me out when I feel like crap.

Another thing that kills me with guys is that Every guy friend that I've ever had ended up crushing on me, I can't seem to ever be just "friends" with a guy...so that never helps...I know somegirls would LOVE guys always wanting to date and such, but I can't stand it, cause never is it for my personality....it's only been cause I'm "pretty"
I got so many "I like you"s going down the halls in highschool, and while in class even, but I had never met these guys before...How can they like someone they've never met? You can't, you can like how they LOOK but not the real THEM...untill you get to know them. I just wish I could find someone that can like me for the REAL me...not just for my looks....I'm just scared of getting hurt. I dunno....

well I guess I'll stop ranting...
Thanks all who actually read. I just had to get it out somewhere.

why, Why, WHY?!?! ;o;

Last night I started feeling my throat get all weird....it's not a sore throat, more swollen then anything.

Then when I woke up this morning it got WORSE. If I try to talk it's all ok unless my tongue touches the soft part in the back on the roof of my mouth. It hurts tremendously to swallow.

My mom took me to the doc, and of course my doctor had to be off work today. So I had to see a nurse instead. She like didn't at all understand what I was saying...she was all like, "you may have strep" I freakin know how strep feels, and this is so not strep. & guess what that test came out negative....I kept telling her that it's not a SORE throat, it's just extremely swollen. But she kept acting as if it was just some sore throat...

what I find weird is that whenever my tongue touches the soft roof of my mouth it shoots up pain all the way up to my ear. I have a feeling that it has something to do with the glands in my neck....I told the nurse that, but I don't think she listened....She made me get a shot of some kinda steroids with benydril on my behind, she told me it should relive the pain almost immediately...guess what....no relief. D:

Its making me dread swallowing, because every time I do I get too much pain....I dunno, if it's not better tomorrow, then I'm gonna see if my mom will take me to a REAL doctor.

It sucks....right when I'm feeling great, something ALWAYS happens. I keep on crying by accident....I just hate always getting so sick....what kills me is that most people act like I'm just crazy or something...just because they've never gotten as sick as often as I do, they think that no one does...I just wish that people wouldn't act like that...it doesn't help me feel any better...I wish I wouldn't get sick all the time...I don't want to be sick, I hate it, yet people act like I'm faking it or something....I dunno...it's just somewhat upsetting that not many think that I'm actually sick...I just wish I could find a way to not get sick so often. D:

not to mention all this has made my fibro act up...so that's adding on alot more....

sorry bout posting all this crap...but I need it out someway.

My 18th

Wow....Tomorrow will be my 18th birthday. It feels weird that now I could be out on my own if I wanted, or needed be....I just still feel "too" young to be able to be out on my own. With my personality, there's no way I'll be able to ever live by myself...I just get too paranoid...

but ya...last years birthday really really sucked...I spent the whole time crying...I won't really go into detail...but found out that the boy I was with and kissing & whatnot had a girl friend....it broke me apart...and that was all a day or two around my bday last year...but hopefully it's all ok now...& I'll have a great bday...I hope...-__-

the only thing we have planned for my birthday is going to the planetarium, which I have wanted to go back to since I was like 6 or 7...

but ya...hope it'll all be a fun day...
Juria out~

An invasion of the Mudkip kind

That's right....those adorable little mudkips invaded my dreams last night. It seemed so.......real. O____O;;

but ya they were everywhere....& somehow my parents even knew what they were. lol.
Even politicians were using them on there "vote 4 me" signs...lol...I have bizarre dreams.

Setting Up

Yesterday I got a call to go help set up an arcade/anime shop opening up in my poor pathetic town. My town needs something like this! lol.
but ya, I'm going everyday this week to help set up, & once paint comes in, paint logos and other stuff on the windows. :3
Today we are gonna be setting up all the gaming computers! Let me tell you they got ALOT in. When I saw how many there were I was like.."whoa...O__O"
It's gonna be nice!
Plus the owner is going to let me sell my art there! I'm excited...I'll also get to cosplay while working XD

I'm just too excited about this, since our old arcade closed down there has been absolutely nothing here. DX
So this is a big deal here, I just hope it'll do well. I'm sure it will, I've told many & they are all ecstatic XD

above is one of the mascots I created for the shop. her name is Ran :3
visit their myspace: http://www.myspace.com/centerofparadise

Other news, my 18th Birthday is a WEEK from today, omg...I'm getting old. lololol...j/k, j/k...

Waterfalls!

So me and some of my friends went hiking around a waterfall today. It was so much fun! There's never anything to do in the small town I live in, so this was something totally different from the norm. So it was so nice, plus I love being outside. :)

Upon arriving I noticed above where we parked, that something quite bizarre was hanging from the powerlines...

lol....this made me laugh so hard...I mean...a PS2 controller?!?!? I've only ever only seen shoes...I guess this is the future rofl!

I also tried climbing a fallen tree...didn't get very far tho... P:

But ya, climbing all those rocks were fun, but they were slippery! Like I said it was beautiful, the air smelt really nice. I guess I appreciated it so much because I'm always stuck inside...everyone else is at work or school...I seriously need to get my drivers license *sweat*
They are planning on taking me again, I can't wait!

Well Juria out!~